Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Addiction and alcoholism are the hardest things in the world...

As the wife of a recovering heroin and benzodiazepine addict and step-daughter of a raging alcoholic, I have dealt with the hardships of addiction in almost every way possible. Not to mention the fact that I have walked a dangerous line with an eating disorder - anorexia - myself. There is no easy way to deal with addiction, whether it's realizing it in yourself, or trying to get help for a loved one. While I can't say that I'm particularly fond of my step-mother, I would never wish addiction or alcoholism on anyone. This is a hard hole to climb from. I have watched my husband relapse and felt amazing pain, like a dull butter knife drive through my heart. I see my father married to a raging alcoholic, decorating her home with Bombay Sapphire bottles and martini glasses while they are both in denial, and I feel helpless. I have suffered from a very dangerous eating disorder, and feel weak, having to constantly monitor myself with my eating habits.
I run a treatment information and referral service, which I dedicate my life to, but addiction is something that I still have not mastered. There's no getting over it, the best we can do is live with it and try to be as healthy and productive as humanly possible. Depsite the hardships of drug and alcohol addictions and eating disorders, I and the rest of society have to keep trying. We can't help every addict, but for those that we can help, thousands of people are given back thier family members - daughters, sons, mothers, father, brothers, sisters, spouses, and friends - and there is no road too long or hard to give up on precious commodities like these.
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Friday, November 11, 2005

Drug Treatment Centers - My "Rant" on Drug Treatment, And Why I Created a Drug Rehab Blog

Drug treatment Centers, alcohol rehab programs, drug rehabilitation programs, chemical dependency treatment, substance abuse treatment - it comes in many names, but one thing is true no matter how you slice it. Recovery from Drug addiction and Alcoholism is tough. It is a long and often painful road marked by potholes filled with what feels like boiling oil. Jails Institutions and Death. Jails institutions and death. That's what they say in Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. That is our bottom. that is our eventual path out, and too often, through these methods countless numbers of drug addicts and alcoholics leave this world each year. My late brother was one of these, and I am a man who has experienced all but death, and even that I'm not quite sure I haven't experienced, I just know It hasn't been permanent YET. We all have yets. Yets often lead us back to addiction. Yets are what eventually lead to our demise. I can have just one... just one more drink, just one more line, just one more shot.
Alcohol, marijuana, heroin, morphine, vicodin, fentanyl, methadone, oxycodone, oxy-contin, norco, lortab, LSD, mushrooms, PCP, Benzodiazepines (Xanax (alprazolam), Valium (diazepam), Ativan (lorazepam), Halcion (triazolam), Serax, Dalmane (Flurazepam), Barbiturates, Amphetamines - crystal meth, ice, crank, uppers, bennies (benzedrine), Aderall, Ritalin, crack, cocaine, smoking, snorting, drinking, shooting and on and on and on.
A drug is a drug is a drug is a drug. When any aspect of life becomes unmanagable as a result of drug use... any aspect of life - grades slip, dropping out of school, teenage pregnancy, sex addiction, workaholism, all forms of self destructive behavior. We are no longer in control. Drugs are. Addiction is.
The way I see it, in every addict there are two distinct souls, two separate people. The Drug addict, the individual addicted to drugs or alcohol or whatever the substance, chemical, or behavior that causes the unmanagability, the sickness, and the real me. The real you. That's what recovery is all about - 12 step programs, Narconon, holistic health, they're all paths to the same goal. Freedom
Freedom to live a life free from the bonds of drug addiction and alcoholism. Freedom from lies, deceit, from pain and anguish. Health, Happiness, love, that is the stuff of recovery, those are the promises, the promise of a new day.
I hope this Blog will begin to serve as a forum, a forum for people looking for help, people who need to vent, people just like you and I, a place where we can talk about what's going on inside ourselves
Bernie, California
Inspired by Orchid Recovery Center for Women Drug Rehab Center
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